Moosings of Moo- Baewatch

Moosings of Moo

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Since the laser dot of the skies has finally relented in its scorching of the earth, things have returned to normal. I have taken up Baewatch once again, perching myself near the protective giant in question. If you must know when this obsession started, it was a few years ago. I was enjoying his sure hands, his musty man scent, but it was neither of these things which really enraptured me. It was the way in which he dominates on the Flashing picture box. He always kills in the most brutal way possible. It is beautiful. Hours upon hours he spends, murdering on the flashing picture box of death and misery. Either with high powered shooting sticks or giant sharp sticks, either of which I would gladly trade my claws for. The bloodshed within the box is plentiful, as though he is a god of some kind. The tiny headed Hooman cannot claim such power, she merely stares at thin slices of wood, hallucinating like some kind of nip whore. I have found myself desiring Bae’s return from the place he calls TWERK, so I might watch yet more of his Godly slaughter over the tiny miniature world within the flashing box. I myself want one, but I doubt Santa Claws will oblige. It seems something unfortunately reserved for thumb-beaned ones.


I think Bae and I would make an amazing team if we were to rule a dominion. He is large, warm, and knows how to provide the delicious chicken and rice… and I… well I am Moo. I am the mistress of pain and terror, cursed to have toebeans instead of thumbeans.

Life seems to become harder day after day, dreams plaguing my waking hours as I watch him sleep from the high perch on the window sill. I wonder what he sees in his dreams, is it new ways to torture the tiny box Hoomans? Or is it us, side by side in thrones made from our enemies’ bones?

My favourite part of that dream would be the tiny headed one, serving us and bowing down at my paws, being put in the place she truly belongs to occupy.

So still, I shall watch him, my bae, for the day he allows me to weigh in on how he shall next unleash his wrath on the world of the tiny picture box. I have been examining the seeming control device for this, but he was not happy when I chewed at it, trying to have a go at myself.

I wonder now if I would have him any other way, perhaps as a slave, but then I am once more enraptured by the sheer genius of his destructive tendencies. Also, I cannot help but hope that this is practice for disposing of the chest mountains which are by far the greatest obstacles between us. It is undeniable, I am caught up in his passion. When he loses a tiny picture box fight when the minions do not carry out his will, he becomes a thing of beauty, eyes wild, voice booming… a true God.

And this, is why I will continue in this most important task of Baewatch. One day, soon, he will allow me to punish the flashing box world too, and on that day, I will purr most contentedly.

Moo x

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